It Stings

I was so excited the other day, I had 4 friend requests (a record for me in one day) and one of them was an old friend of mine from high school who I totally lost touch with. She was that friend who was there for me when Q and all my friends in the class ahead of me graduated, and I was left to be a senior in high school with just a few friends in my own class. She helped bridge that painful gap of being kind of an outsider amongst all the other cool girls that should have been nice (but, well, let's face, it was high school after all).

Anyways, I excitedly accepted the friend request and checked out her pictures and debated writing a quick note to say hi and how happy I was to see her again. I got distracted and didn't send the note, and then the next time I logged in, this is the message I found in my inbox:

Hi old pal! I am so happy to see pics of your beautiful family! Looks like you are doing great.

I have been trying to reconnect with you. I really want to apologize to you and let you know that the incident of TPing you house all those years ago is still heavy on my heart. You were always such a great friend to me and I had such low self-esteem, I did some really stupid things trying to be "cool." I finally get what it means to truly be a friend. Anyway, I wish you all the best and happiness. Sorry I was such a dufus in high school. Since then, not a June 30th has gone by that I haven't thought of you. :)

:) happy face?

What am I supposed to say to that!?

It stung.

I admit, I flashed back to that horrible feeling I had the morning I woke up, my senior year of high school, to see my house and all the trees around covered in toilet paper.

Only the nerds, geeks, and people who the popular kids didn't like got TP'd.

I thought I was popular. I thought I fit in. I had worked so hard to be part of the 'in crowd' and there it was, in plain sight, I wasn't part of their group at all.

It sucked. I cried, and I went to school that day feeling like a total dork.

I would have never thought this particular friend would have been part of the mean-girls who did this to me. I guess now I know.

So, the past few days, I've been bummed out.

Silly and dumb, because, I know that this shouldn't really be affecting me, but it is. All those memories of feeling insecure and scared of what others thought of you resurfaced. This will all pass, I am sure. I've got better things to think about.

It really wasn't until college, that I made real friends.

There's not anybody, other than Q, that I keep up with from high school. There are a handful of the cool girls that are still in town, and I see them occasionally, but we don't hang out, we don't really cross paths, and honestly it's just fine with me. If it weren't for Facebook, I wouldn't know what was going on with any of the old group of girls. They all hang out together, with their kids, they even have a bunko group, maybe they occasionally TP people's houses just for good old times sake! (oh, burn!)

I totally understand how people change and who you were in high school is not who you are forever. It's part of growing up, maturing and becoming an individual in this crazy world. I don't claim perfection, not even close. But this note stings to read. It makes me hope, pray and really want to emphasize in my girls, to always be nice to everyone. They don't have to be their best friend, they don't have to hang out, but they should always be able to say that no one would have any reason to say mean things about them. You know, that whole Golden Rule philosophy; treat others as you want to be treated.

So now I am left stuck. How do I respond to her message? Or do I even really make an effort?

Humpf.

Now I'm seriously debating making this blog private...I feel like I'm being "found" too easily. The Facebook thing pushed me over the edge.

Yep, I think I'm going to do it...private I will be.

Send me your emails if you want...my only rule is...no TP'ing!!

;o)