With Valentine's Day quickly approaching, the stores are filled with pink and red hearts and "goo-goo gaa-gaa love you so much" trinkets, I'm sad, because I've lost that lovin' feelin'.
Is it part of being a mother of 2?
Is it part of being sleep deprived and working full time?
Is it part of that desire to be back to my pre-baby baby weight / body and having no motivation to get there?
I just can't figure it out.
I feel like my spunk is gone. That affection I felt for Q for so long comes in fleeting moments, often times interrupted by a kiddo needing me for something.
It feels criminal to write this, but I'm looking for some advice...how do you keep the love alive with a crazy schedule everyday?
I have so much to be thankful for, it really baffles me why I can't remember all of that when I am throwing myself a pity party and feeling so un-loving...is that normal?
So, I'm declaring today, Friday Advice Day...help me girls!
Or, if you know where Cupid hangs out, send him my way with an arrow in hand...I'll gladly take a shot in the butt!!
3 comments:
First, I have to say that I am totally lovin' this post because of your brutal honesty! Way to just put it out there! I am certain that this is an issue that most women have and I'd be tempted to say that if they didn't, they'd be lying to themsleves. That being said, I can certainly relate! And I don't have a full-time job or TWO girls! You described it well when you said "fleeting" because that's how I am. Sure the love is there but I can only demonstrate it in moments instead of 24/7 like the ol' days. Danny couldn't be more patient or more understanding but at some point I am going to just have to try a little harder. But my dilemna is what do I have leftover when I give Hanna 100%? I try to not be too hard on myself because I know I am still adjusting to the balances of life and mommyhood.
My only advice is to keep in mind how crucial it is that our children see us in loving, nurturing marriages. I once read that the surest way to bring happiness to your child's life is to have a happy marriage. I know, a lot of pressure but I just remind myself to not lose sight of how fundamental my marriage is, to me and to Han. Marriage is work sometimes and that is just a fact! My other advice is to never compare with other couples because you just never know what goes on behind closed doors. Also, those romantic movies are, well, movies and not reality! I could go on forever on this one because I secretly think I should be a therapist, but Hanna is fussing!:) No time to even proofread!
Thank you so much Sadina!
I needed the reminder of how important loving and nurturing marriages are for our kids - I know it, but like you said, need to practice it...and it's not easy! Maybe that's where I get so lost - something that used to be so easy, is now so hard. Hmmm, I'll have to think about that ~
I appreciate your therapy session...you are really good!! ;o)
Now go give Danny a big SMOOCH!!
Buddy, you are normal and not alone!
First of all, Valentine's Day is kind of lame and super commercial, no don't worry about the upcoming lover's holiday.
Second, everything is tough when life is busy. I often feel like I am too busy to take care of myself, much less my marriage!
So, I am no expert or professional, but my advice is go on a date. Call your parents or Q's parents and set up a time that they can take the kids and you and Q can go to a movie, get some dinner, or go to dessert, or go walk around Target, or Costco, or anything! And you will probably talk about the kids, but at least the kids aren't needing your attention, the house isn't needing your attention-you can just soak up each other's attention. Make date-night a priority! It is important!
And I love you, and I can completely sympathize, and I appreciate your honesty! And if I see Cupid, I'll send him your way :)
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