This was Saturday morning here in beautiful Bend.( I wish I could take credit for this beauty of a photo, but I can't, I'd be fibbing. Instead, would you believe I found it on Facebook of all places?!)
It was a beautiful day - a little dusting of snow, crystal clear and not a cloud in the sky. It wasn't more than 30 degrees, but the sun was shining and that was what was most important.
Ah, the sun.
It's really pretty amazing what good it does for the soul, the mood, the overall well being of...well, just plain old me. I felt motivated for the first time in a quite a long time. I felt a little more like myself than I have, which was nice; super, super nice.
I wish I could tell you that we went out and enjoyed the great outdoors. Nolan & Beth (Q's brother and his wife) just started snow shoeing and they love it. We are tempted to go out with them, but are not sure if the girls are ready yet - well, more like Brynn...I bet Elsie could handle it. I guess we wont know until we try. It would be good for all of us!
Instead, we spent the day crafting, hanging up more decor in the girls rooms, loading a newly purchased bookcase from World Market (oh, I love it so!) and just kind of puttering around.
I've been all consumed with my new little jewelry business - and am anxiously awaiting all my goodies and supplies to arrive so I can get my groove on. I really hope this will be fun, and I'll be successful. The more I get going, the more I'm finding myself to be stretching beyond what is comfortable. Funny how sometimes we choose to do things that maybe we know are out of our comfort zone and for whatever reason go ahead anyways. Like filling a void in my life that I don't want to admit, or haven't had time to realize is there.
Not to sound pathetic, but I am hoping to make some friends. I hope to be more social and break out of my little sheltered life that I am currently living. I'm more intimidated now, at 30, than I was at 19 to make friends and put myself out there. It's a fear of being judged, not only for who I am, but for my parenting skills, my home, the life that we have chosen to live. I thought as we grew up, we were supposed to get past these insecurities...but I guess they morph, and change, and will always be...now the challenge is to find the new strategies to cope.
Maybe it's just trying something new every now and then...like snowshoeing...or jewelry...putting myself out there, I think that's the point.
How am I ever going to know if I don't try?
4 comments:
Ah! Beautiful Bend and the glorious sun!! Andrea, I have the very same exact relationship with the sun- I NEED it!!
I think I have that seasonal affective disorder because when it's cloudy here for more than a few days (which is somewhat rare, thank goodness!), I start to feel extremely blah. But once that sun is shining, I wake up with a big grin and ready to take on the day!
I have no doubt that you will totally rock in your newfound biz! And you are SOOOO loveable that I can't imagine finding friends being a problem for you! You are so funny, witty, real, honest, and have created such a beautiful life for yourself! I only wish we lived in the same town! I think you just need to fully realize that you ARE all these things! And if anything, it will be YOU doing the picking and choosing because it IS challenging to find friends! And I'm talking about real, true friends that you value and trust, because spending your time with anyone else would just be a waste!
Just remember all that! Find that confidence in knowing that God left His fingerprints on you and made you beautiful- both inside and out! :)
Oh how I would love to be in Bend right now feasting my eyes on a view like that?! I am like both you and Sadina in the sun department! Although I have enjoyed some stormy weather lately, I get a little ancy whe the sun doesn't shine!!!
I am really so excited for you and your new adventures!!! You are fabulous at anything you do, so no worries there! Anyone would be LUCKY to call you their friend and I am soooooo HAPPY that I can call you mine!!!
Oh and please go see Blake Bunch...we had a really exciting delivery today!!!!!
HELLO!
I know from personal experience that you are a fantastic, A+, blessing from God kind of friend, and I have all the confidence in the world that your branching out is going to pay off in more ways than you even know!
What a glorious day in Bend! It is totally acceptable that you "borrowed" that picture from someone else!
I've never tried snowshoeing, but I dare you to try it!!!! It would be a cool thing to put on your resume :)
LOVE you!
Oh, you girls make me feel so good!
Thanks for the boost!!
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