If I Were a Barnyard Animal...

This would be me...

A Donkey.

But I'm just not any old ordinary donkey...

I am A Donkey On The Edge!

For real. What is wrong with everyone, everything and anything? Today was a, shall we say, "show stopper?" From 3:45 am (when Brynn decided to wake up) I had a sneaky suspicion that my day was going to be a bust and I might be a little, shall we say, "off?"


Yes. Let's say it...I was (or am) off indeed.

I'm tired. I'm not liking work. Penelope has been on fire lately and there's a new player, who hangs on every one of Penelope's words...it makes the days long and the amazing life and death story of the day last that much more painful to listen to as she elaborates on every, single, over described detail. She was out sick today, and is fairly certain she has self diagnosed swine flu.

I'm sick of worrying about money. I'm cold (it hasn't been above 40 degrees for like 2 weeks) and, I'm feeling chubby along with being totally unmotivated (always a bad combination). I find myself wishing for things that I know good and well will never, ever happen...really, like winning the lottery. Why am I busy making plans about what I would do first with my many, many, many millions?

My hair is awful, and I'm stuck in the vicious circle of looking the same no matter how hard I try to re-invent me, I always come out the same...umpf. I have an appointment set for next week and I'm not even excited. Not even remotely inspired. I have sneaky feeling, I will look the very same as I did about 4 weeks ago. Today was day #4 in a row of the "stubby pony."

My children don't listen to me. They scream and run circles around me (literally) and I slowly slip away into my icky-mommy-place and begin to question why in the world I had children since I am such an insufficient parent and have zero skills when it comes to raising a child, let alone two! Tonight Elsie called me a "booger-butt." Really? Yes. Really.

Our fridge is nearing empty and I just went shopping like 4 days ago. And even though I planned out 5 dinners, I have not a clue as to what to cook for dinner when I get home from work, and my family looks at me like I'm crazy as I pace back and forth from the pantry to the fridge, hoping that maybe some food will magically appear. And how is it that we have already gone through 2.5 gallons of milk already?! Tonight, my dinner consisted of 2 chicken nuggets (frozen, home cooked nuggets), about 4 spoonfuls of cottage cheese, a pickle and two chocolate chip cookies, washed down with a glass of juice (left over from a sippy cup).

Clearly, I am a donkey.


I take deep breaths. I find myself rubbing my own shoulders and neck at various times throughout the day. I'm set for a second round of acupuncture tomorrow, after the first session last week, when she told me "you are a wreck" I figured another dose might be helpful.

Today, I found myself trying to think of my "go to phrase" for when all I feel like doing is telling people to F-off and that I really don't care at all about what they are bitching about (my apologies for the vulgarity), and I think I have it figured out:

"This really isn't working for me right now."

This whole donkey thing, isn't really working for me right now...