Where is my Happy Place?

The work day today has started off with a real bang...
It's been one of those days that I wish I was a stay at home mom.
Not that it would be any easier, but at least the people I would be dealing with all day, would be people that I love!

One of the big pieces of my job is to process all of our school district's workers comp claims. Right now, I have 35 going on, 7 of which are really bringing me down today. I don't want to complain, but these people work the system, waste my time, and lie to me a majority of the time about what they can and can not do physically. I'm ready to explode and it's only 11:30!

So...I thought this list would be appropriate response for my lame-ass morning.

16 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level Of Insanity
1. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.
2. Every Time Someone Asks You To Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.
3. Put Your Garbage Can On Your Desk And Label it 'In'.
4. Put Decaf In The Coffee Maker For 3 Weeks. Once Everyone has Gotten Over Their Caffeine Addictions, Switch to Espresso.
5. In The Memo Field Of All Your Checks, Write ' For Sexual Favors' .
6. Finish All Your sentences with 'In Accordance With The Prophecy'.
7. Don't use any punctuation.
8. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.
9. Specify That Your Drive-through Order Is 'To Go'.
10. Sing Along At The Opera.
11. Go To A Poetry Recital. And Ask Why The Poems Don't Rhyme?
13. Put Mosquito Netting Around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.
14. Five Days In Advance, Tell Your Friends You Can't Attend Their Party Because You're Not In the Mood..
15. Have Your Co-workers Address You By Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.
16. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'